


finish your collapse and stay for breakfast

by fumerie (grisclair)



Category: Super Junior, Super Junior-M
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-26
Updated: 2011-02-26
Packaged: 2017-11-21 12:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/597950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grisclair/pseuds/fumerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zhou Mi has a different definition of home from the rest of the group.</p>
            </blockquote>





	finish your collapse and stay for breakfast

-

  
Leaving the first time was always easy. Booked a plane ticket, packed a bag of minimal necessities, packed a lot of hopes and dreams, said goodbye to his parents, boarded that plane, landed in Seoul, Korea. It was exciting the way Beijing was exciting, except ten-fold, because he was not just in a new city, he was in a brand new country with a brand new future. He could barely read the street signs or the menu in restaurants, and excitement bubbled up from the bottom of his stomach, bright and gripping. He tried kimchi and bibimbap and panjeon and knocking down soju like water, the unfamiliar taste burning on his tongue.

 

China was a vague thought far away from his mind, amidst all the greetings and Korean class and endless hours of practice, practice, and practice. He stuck paper notes of Korean vocabulary like stars on the ceiling, trading one language for the next. It was easy though, because this was a whole new world in front of him, and okay, languages had always come to him naturally. This was not that much harder than perfecting his Beijing accent that first year he had come to the city. Zhou Mi could do anything, as long as he put his mind into it - that was what he kept telling himself.

 

 

Leaving the second year was still simple enough. He barely had time to talk to his parents, let alone seeing them amidst all the crazy Super Junior M schedules. They flew back and forth between China and Korea, and packing his bag and boarding the plane each time quickly became a familiar process, barely requiring any thought or effort. He started counting off airports inside his head, those with good wifi connection and those with extensive shopping areas. He spent more time sleeping on airplanes and airports' uncomfortable plastic chairs than his own tiny bed in the dorm. 

 

And that was that, he was just flying between destinations, never really remembering where they started from or where they were heading to. Lose an hour, gain an hour. It was getting hard to count the day by hours, and he realized none of his bandmates tried to anyway. His watch was set in Korea time. He spent a lot more time on the phone with his friends in Beijing, and it didn't matter that he was always one hour ahead of them. He still had it good, Zhou Mi told himself, better than Henry who always lived fourteen hours behind, staying up late into the early morning hours chatting with his friends on the other side of the earth. They were getting very good at maths, Henry joked once, just by being in an idol group. Counting hours, counting miles.

 

 

Leaving the third year, it was natural. He was sad about leaving his friends in Beijing, sure, they'd had a brilliant time together, but there was work and screaming fangirls to be taken care of. Well, not that any of the screaming fangirls was his, but still. There were some girls starting to trail after him in airports. Zhou Mi smiled and waved at them, feeling a little perplexed but nonetheless happy, and rushed to the custom gate. There was a plane to catch, places to go, people to see. He was starting to miss Seoul, maybe? Maybe somewhere along the line he had fallen in love with the city. Neon lights and glass skyscrapers, street signs and restaurant menus he could now read. He kind of missed his groupmates' silly faces, too.

 

 

Leaving the fourth year, he felt regret for the first time. Zhou Mi blamed it on being able to stay home for such an extended period of time, being fed by his mother and taking out his little Ni Qiu for a walk every single day. He had nearly forgotten how good it was to come home. This was luxury, even more than the giant brand name handbags or vintage bedazzled watches. Luxury was being able to eat home-cooked food and sleeping on his own appropriate-sized bed every day, stumbling down the street to the little dumpling shop at ten in the evening, hearing Mandarin smoothly rolling off the ice-cream vendor man's tongue, warm and comforting. 

 

There was comfort in food and language, something he had never been able to pinpoint before. Noodle and rice and meat and vegetable and eggs, seemingly similar ingredients in all Asian cuisines, but the vast distance between China and Korea was sometimes just in a single taste. When he complained to Kyuhyun about how much he missed the food, maybe he actually meant how much he missed home. 

 

Even the traffic jam in Seoul felt different from traffic jam in Beijing. He didn't know how, but it did.

 

 

By the fifth year, he whined and pouted, "I don't want to leave." 

 

This was only after his seventh drink into the night. Eunhyuk had asked if he knew any good bar in Beijing where they had a low chance of being recognized, and Zhou Mi had made a humming noise, typing furiously on his phone. "I'll ask my friends," he'd said, and two hours later they were out from the backdoor of their dorm, Zhou Mi himself leading the little entourage of bored Korean young men. Kyuhyun tugged at his sleeves, "Is there free alcohol? Is anyone paying? Are _you_ paying?"

 

Two hours later, Zhou Mi was whining about how he didn't want to leave China to Kyuhyun who had just magically appeared by his side in the crowded noisy bar. Kyuhyun grunted in his throat, too busy downing the next shot to formulate a reply. Zhou Mi didn't mind, resting his chin on Kyuhyun's shoulder. Zhou Mi was a friendly drunk, Kyuhyun didn't mind, they made great drinking buddies. He was vaguely aware of Kyuhyun patting his shoulders awkwardly. Zhou Mi made a low humming noise in his throat, feeling the thrum of the last seven drinks in his fingertips. He pulled away from the other's warm body suddenly, his steps stumbling slightly, but just a little.

 

"Where are you going?" Kyuhyun's fingers wrapped around his wrist as he tried to stumble his way through the crowd.

 

"I have to go throw up."

 

He banged the door of the restroom open, sending a mental thank-you to his dear friends who had suggested this awesome bar whose restroom had huge and pretty clean stalls. He stumbled into the nearest stall available, and was only remotely surprised to find that Kyuhyun had trailed in after him and was now locking the door closed behind them. Kyuhyun leaned heavily against the wall, not really looking at him, and Zhou Mi shrugged, falling onto his knees with a loud thump, hugging the toilet bowl. The throwing up was easy, all liquid coming out. He wasn't even that drunk, it was just better to get all the poison out of the system to prevent a hangover the next morning since they still had a schedule. Kyuhyun handed him toilet paper when he finished, and he mumbled a thank-you, moving away after flushing.

 

"Do your knees hurt?" Kyuhyun nudged his knees lightly with his shoes, and Zhou Mi huffed out a laugh.

 

"Why did you come in here with me?"

 

"I don't know." Kyuhyun shrugged, looking clearly confused by himself. "I just followed you." Kyuhyun was probably also halfway to passing out drunk, Zhou Mi noted. He gestured to the porcelain bowl.

 

"You should. As well."

 

Kyuhyun shook his head, frowning. "No thanks. I can't anyway. I have no gag reflex."

 

Zhou Mi laughed, coughing into his bunch of paper. "Lies. You throw up all the time from heatstroke and dehydration. You even throw up when you don't eat enough. That doesn't make any sense."

 

Kyuhyun slid down next to him, the heat of his body warm and comforting. "So you don't want to leave China?"

 

Zhou Mi tried to shake his head, but thought better of it. "No I don't." He felt immature and petulant, like a child who refused to leave his room and go to school in the morning. _I don't want to go I don't want to go I just want my mom._

 

"Okay."

 

He wished Kyuhyun hadn't said that. "Do you miss anything?"

 

"I don't miss anything." Kyuhyun shrugged, looking bored as he played with his messy hair.

 

"Lies. What do you miss the most?" Zhou Mi smiled as the corner of Kyuhyun's lips twitched.

 

"I miss food. Bugolgi. Noodles with black bean sauce. Ramyun. Eel. Hot pots. Seasoned spicy chicken."

 

"There's a Korean restaurant just couple of streets away from our dorm..."

 

"I can't."

 

He looked at Kyuhyun, taking in the resigned smile and flushed cheeks. Maybe he understood it, maybe just a little.

 

It was strange to him, how leaving was getting harder and harder each time, how the word "home" tugged more and more on his heartstrings with the passing years. It seemed the more often he had to pack that bag, the more he didn't want to go. Maybe Seoul would always be the city where he fell in love, but it still wasn't home and comfort. 

 

Still, tomorrow he had a plane to catch. Everyone else would be going home, and he would be leaving.

 

Kyuhyun's fingers were warm and sweaty between his.

-

  



End file.
